A few weeks ago, I bought some fancy chocolate as a housewarming gift for a friend. I paid with a major credit card at a store I’ve visited many times before.

This time though, something unexpected happened. About an hour after I made my purchase, the store e-mailed me thanking me for my purchase and sending me a copy of my receipt.

I was surprised, since I had not given the store clerk my e-mail address. Frankly, I was annoyed by what I felt was an intrusion on my privacy. I sent a reply e-mail to the store letting them know I wasn’t happy about them “reaching out” to me this way and to please stop. I never heard from them, which I thought was rude. Now I will think twice about buying from this store again.

I suppose I am hopelessly naive to have any expectation of privacy in today’s digital age. A digital native would probably have welcomed the contact from a favorite store and responded by “liking” them or “following” them on social media. This form of “customer engagement” is just what online marketers want, and many consumers are happy to encourage this type of relationship with their favorite product, service or brand.

I’m trying to understand these new rules of engagement for retailers and customers, and how technology is changing them. In my view, it’s OK for a retailer to “engage” you when you make a purchase from them, either in-store or online, provided you give them permission, but it’s not OK if that retailer makes unsolicited contact with you.

How many 20/20 readers contact customers through social media without being invited by that customer to do so? I don’t mean posting a pop-up ad on their social media page, I’m talking about sending them a personal message. Does the purchase itself amount to an invitation?

I invite you to send me your responses, which I’ll address in a future column and on the 20/20 blog.

Andrew Karp
Group Editor, Lenses and Technology
[email protected]