It’s been nearly a month now and I’m still seething. 

Allow qualifications before a rant. I don’t design frames. I don’t manufacture them. I don’t sell them. But… I DO write about eyewear and have a hand in portraying said frames to professionals who DO design, manufacture and sell (dispense) them. So, in humble scribe capacity it annoyed the hell out of me that a “reporter” (Lesley Stahl) on the nationally broadcasted TV show “60 Minutes” tersely noted “all eyeglasses are the same, still made of a couple pieces of plastic or wire, some screws and glass.”

I’m supposing by “glass” she was describing the lenses, and I’d guess that “wire” description might have something to do with the metal composition of certain frames with the hinge design fluffed over as “some screws.” As for the plastic designation: Yes, zyl is plastic via its cellulose nitrate origins. That said, I’d like to stick a pair of said basic glasses as described (dismissed) on her misinformed face.

How does that feel missy? Are you ready for your audition to replace the late, never-great and ever-irritating Andy Rooney as the show’s resident curmudgeon?

What? Your nose hurts? Your ears feel irritated? Those lenses are too heavy for you? You’d like a bit of color and something more in line with the designer shoes you wear? The screw won’t… screw? Perhaps a bandage might relieve some of the pressure on the bridge of your nose. The lens just fell out? Maybe you could stick it back in with some super glue.

Excuse me, but did you just say that you can’t see? You want a prescription?! I wouldn’t advise that for that piece of junk you’ve described. It’s becoming increasingly obvious to me that you never even took a scant look at the VAST diversity of eyewear choices in a diverse spread of pricing options out there from good value through to luxury eyewear. Why don’t you take a look at the main feature in this very issue where 20/20 editorially highlights nearly 40 pairs of eyewear from 40 different eyewear companies? And then take a look at our new products section detailing eyewear from nearly 50 different resources.

I did observe you trying to glom two pairs for free from the company you were attempting to skewer. Have you ever thought about getting a nice pair of eyewear or sunglasses? Too expensive? Maybe you should sell off some of your shoes.

James J. Spina